Welcome to the best holiday of the year. Or so I thought…until the tricks began to outweigh the treats.

Frog curses, poisoned candy apples, and a wayward vampire are only the half of it. Add in a two-hundred-year-old curse, a depressed poltergeist, and a dead body, and you can see why my enthusiasm for the witchiest day of the year is waning.

Not cool, Halloween Hijacker. Not cool.

And that’s why you can bet your wand I’m not going to go down without a fight, even if my actions land me in grave danger.